Birthday Post: This Is A God Dream

So I'm in the midst of a quarter life crisis that I'm slowly coming out of. Or at least like to believe I am. But I think I finally know what I meant to do with my life. What I'm called to do. My main goal that I wanted to achieve  out of life was to live a life of purpose. I didn't just want to exist. I want to be extraordinary. Do something that means something. 

But at some point, my dreams constantly shifted to the point I was self serving. I wasn't looking at the bigger picture. I wasn't living in grace and purpose like God created me to do. 

For the past five years or maybe just a little bit more, I knew what area I wanted to be in. After several career ideas and changes, I started to realize I was losing sight at what my purpose was. I started feel like I was in the right town but kept turning down the wrong streets. It wasn't until recently I feel like I finally understood where my GPS was trying to take me. But like always, I just kept ignoring it because I always know where I'm going. 

I wanted to be an advice columnist because I saw Carrie Bradshaw (SATC) do it and was living this fantasy yet messy life. I saw Phoebe Halliwell (Charmed) do it and she also held a degree in psychology, similar to me. I saw Demetria Lucas D'Oyley do it and really made her mark. I kept thinking to myself, fictional or not, if they can do it so can I. 

But here's the thing: I liked the idea what they were doing. Just because they were doing it, doesn't mean it's something I'm meant to do. And if I am, doesn't mean it will be long-term or even pay all of my bills. I easily get so caught up in someone else's dream that I don't tend to really notice the dream God put in my heart. I still am passionate about writing but perhaps that's all it's meant to be: a passion. Or maybe a side meal and not the main course. 

It wasn't until a few weeks ago I realized what God was trying to tell me. But on the safe side, I put myself on a deadline. By my birthday, I'll know exactly what I want to do and I will stick to it. However, I kept getting nudges so I prayed on it and received confirmations. Now I'm in the process of acting on it and you know what, I actually feel good about this. I'm not second guessing like I was with other career goals. This dream so to speak came to me about 6 years ago but I deferred it. 

I'm glad it resurfaced just in time.


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