Finding Yourself

When Adrienne Bailon announced ending her engagement with long time boyfriend Lenny Santiago after 7 months of getting engaged, I was a bit shock. I had noticed on the premiere episode of "The Real" that she wasn't her beautiful engagement ring. I tried not to be one of those people who quickly assumed because she wasn't wearing it that it was over. I thought maybe she didn't feel like wearing it that day. Unfortunately I was wrong.

When discussing her break up, she went on to explaining why she ended it. Though her explanation (to me) was rather long & going in circles a bit, it was clear to me why she did it. She simply found herself.
I wondered why did she stay in a relationship so long if she evidently had some uncertainties. In my opinion and I can only speak for myself, after at least 3 years, you should know whether you want to be with that person long term or not.  Perhaps it takes people longer than others to really decide. But when it's right, you just know.

In the case of Adrienne, she knew it wasn't right despite loving this man so deeply. She often gushed about him on the show, high key hinted at marriage, and wanting to have babies. But she also said a few things in regards to their relationship that to me seemed like a red flag or two. But what did I know? I'm single and spend my weekends eating Talenti.

It wasn't until she went her "Eat. Pray. Love." tour that she came to a realization not only about the relationship but herself as a woman. I peeped what she said during her explanation: she never spent that much time alone before. Then it suddenly made sense. Sometimes you need to be by yourself to find yourself.

I believe that you can find yourself at any given point in your life. There's no age limit to path of self discovery.

I understood where Adrienne was coming from though. After experiencing a very bad break up almost two years ago, I found myself lost. I honestly was broken into a million little pieces and didn't know how I was going to move forward without him. I had realized that it was the first time I was truly single, truly by myself.
But I needed that time. I didn't rush into a new relationship because I needed to figure myself out. I needed to know what I wanted out life, career, and relationships. I needed to find myself for myself being that I quickly learned I was seeking validation from men in my relationships. I was seeking a love that I should've had for myself.

I wish I had the ability to do a eat, pray, love tour. But the way my account is set up....

Though leaving the country and traveling to get clarity and learn about who you are is great, you can do all of these things right at home. Simply take time for yourself. Take time to figure who you are and what you really want. Realize that who you really are is already inside you just waiting to be unlocked.

Comments

  1. I think anyone who has read the book, has wished to have their own Eat, Pray, Love journey. (I most certainly did) But you're right.. You don't have to go out of the country to find yourself. You just have to be willing to listen in on what you need and take time to accept who you are in the moment. Although, I've gone through my own journey on finding myself after a bad breakup, I think that it's not just a one time thing. Maybe as you grow and life changes you have to find yourself again when new circumstances arise. What do you think?

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    1. I'm so sorry for responding to this so late! I've been trying to respond from my phone but to no avail. But I totally agree that you can find yourself multiple times. As we grow, we change, and encounter new challenges, we're bound to figure out what we're truly made of.

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