Something About Praying in Bathrooms & For Others

One night, I asked my blogger boo Roconia to pray for me. She was tweeting something inspirational that I was yearning to feel at that time. I don't know what compelled me to actually tweet her to pray for me but I felt like I needed too.
I'm not really big on the whole "I'll pray for you" phrase, especially when it's said to me. I'm also not a fan of saying it--even if I mean it--because it just sounds weird coming from my mouth. Have you read the shit that comes out of this mouth? Have you read the constant F-bombs, shits, and damns I wrote on this so called inspirational blog? I can't even believe myself telling someone I would pray for them and they probably wouldn't either.

But one Sunday, I received a text from my bestie Diana saying that she needed me. I was already coming over but I was going to go later considering she had company (for lack of a better term) and she needn't kick them out just yet. I insisted I can go to Starbucks for a little bit and read my book. But by the time she received that text, she had already kicked them out and I suddenly found myself on the I-77 heading to her place.

When I got there, I joked on how her text sounded. If you knew my best friend, you would understand why. But when she told me what was going on, she wasn't lying when she said she needed me.

To spare the intimate details of our 2+ hour convo, I was left feeling sad and angry though I tried to contain myself. But on my drive home, I was pissed. Why is my best friend going through this? I had wish I was in a position to do more for her but I quickly realized I'm treading water myself. But I was told that just being there was enough.

But it wasn't enough for me. I wanted to do something. Out of nowhere, I felt the need to pray for her. Without questioning it, I grabbed my rosary, got down on my knees, and prayed for her...in my bathroom. I don't know what possessed me to do it my bathroom rather than my bedroom. But since I've been feeling like God hasn't been hearing me there, maybe that's why I chose the bathroom. I don't know. But when I went in there and prayed, I felt like it was just me and God in that small space in the dark. He had to hear me now.

After I said my prayer, I got up and went about my business. Not going to lie, it felt weird praying for someone else outside my mother. I mean, I do general prayers for humanity like when a tragedy happens. But praying for someone specifically? Yeah...no. And honestly, I thought the prayer would go unanswered, like most of my prayers as of late.

So imagine my surprise when two days later, one of her issues got resolved and the other was in the process getting resolved. As the kids say: look at God. Won't He do it?

My best friend doesn't know I prayed for her (unless she randomly decides to read this post). But my prayer for her had me thinking. Am I doing this whole prayer thing wrong? Should others be praying for me instead of me praying for me? Should I've been praying in bathrooms all along?

It gets tough when you see no light at the end of the tunnel. You keep praying for a way out but still only see darkness. So you wonder if God can hear you where you are and prayer louder. You wonder if your prayers are enough. You wonder if you were a different kind of person maybe your prayers would get answered. You begin to have the realization that just maybe you aren't worthy of any answered prayers. All while trying to make a way out of the tunnel.

Someone pray for me.

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