What Jasmine Knows For Sure
When I first asked myself about some of the things that I am sure of, the answer that immediately came back to me is that I’m still learning. At the age of 18, I thought that I knew what it meant to be an adult. I somehow convinced myself that being deemed “legal” by the state somehow solidified my stance as an adult who was free to do whatever she wanted. At the age of 19, I thought that I knew what it meant to finally meet someone who thought that I was the most amazing “woman” he’d ever met. At the age of 21, I thought that I was ready to spend the rest of my life with someone. All of these moments of thinking that I had all of the answers about life and love prepared me for what I was beyond 100% sure of: I am still learning.
To admit that, mistakes and things that seem like failures included, has not been the toughest pill to swallow. In fact, it has been a painful struggle at some points. Despite knowing that I am still learning about life and love, I also know that there is something beautiful aboutomllowing yourself to be open to learning. There is something remarkable about giving up the need to feel like you have everything figured out because of your age or past experiences. There are things that I said that I would never allow to happen and I used to be sure that I would never put myself in the position for said things to come to pass. Well guess what? Everything doesn’t always go according to our “plans” and that’s okay.
Sure, I spent countless nights allowing myself to cry until I fell asleep over the years but time always proved that pain is indeed temporary. I have been given chance after chance to continue breathing and know that as long as there is breath in my body, I am still a student of life. I have learned to understand what it means to be open to love, no matter how it presents itself and I have learned to be patient while being present. Life is not about always having the solutions to every problem that you face. Yes, sometimes we break promises. Yes, sometimes we give our hearts to temporary people. And yes, sometimes we struggle to express ourselves. BUT, I know that with each mishap, we have the opportunity to learn. The funny thing about life is that the same lesson will continuously appear in the form of different situations or people until we acknowledge what is taking place.
The lessons that I have learned about life and love are beautifully entwined…something I could never fully understand before. Whatever has taken place prior to this moment in my life is part of a chain of lessons that I needed to learn. So no, I don’t have an elaborate speech about how I’ve grasped the meaning of life and love. All that I have, besides my truths, is the knowledge that class is still in session for me. This time around, I’m okay with being the student while God takes over as the teacher.
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