Pain is Pain

As I was watching Scandal a few weeks back, a scene in particular hit me. Mellie is still dealing with the sudden death of her son and has been grieving in well...odd ways. Cyrus, who lost his husband, is finding ways to cope just as the first lady. In this scene, Cyrus is trying to talk some sense into Mellie but letting her know he understands how she feels. Meanwhile, Mellie blows him off pretty much implying that the death of her son trumps the death of his husband. Ouch.

This scene had me thinking and to be honest, I was little put off by the insentivity Mellie displayed. Yes, I know Scandal is a scripted show. But dealing with death is apart of real life. Not just our favorite shows.

Perhaps I was put off because of the fact that there are people who try to dismiss one's. It's those people that say: "Oh you think that's bad? You have NO IDEA what I've been through," making your pain seem nonexistent. But one's pain should not be a competition. I was happy once Cyrus let the first Lady know that he still lost someone who was just as a major part of his life like her son. A broken heart is a broken heart at the end of it all.

There have been times I've tried to dismiss others pains because I felt that mine was greater. Others have done the same to me as well. It's almost like we're competing on who's pain is worse and it shouldn't be like that.

We can't and shouldn't judge someone's pain. All pain looks different to those who are suffering. But it doesn't stop the fact that it hurts and we're trying to cope the best way we can. So the next time you feel the urge to tell someone they don't understand your pain. Think again.

Perhaps they do.

Peace & Light,


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