Happy October: How Did I End Up Here


So I've been doing a lot of reflecting lately and the question I keep asking myself is "How did I end up here?"

Where's here exactly? Here represents a few things: still living in Charlotte, my job, my lackluster life, a 
degree I may NEVER use, and the list goes on. As I stated before, my life is in a stalemate. But I'm working hard to change it. At least I'm trying to.

I believe in the law of attraction. Greatly. So I know majority of this is my fault. I've been sending out mixed signals for most of my adult life. Because of this, I received mixed results in return.

Sometimes I just wanna hop on a plane or my car and just go. I don't know where but somewhere that's not here. Then there are times where I just wanna save some cash and get a nice place out here. But most times I just don't want to move out of my mom's crib because uncertainty.

Although it's not 2015, I'm already setting my goals to put things into action. This can't be my life much longer. I need more. I deserve more. And I can have all that once I fully figure out what the fuck I want. Once that happens, I can move from being here to there.

Hopefully God drops some gems on me though I know He's already dropped more than enough on me. He's already shown me what I will be doing with my life but for some reason, I'm not listening or just not getting it. 

Maybe both.

Peace & Light,
Soleil

Comments

  1. AHHH! I know the feeling. Don't know how many times I've written "lackluster" in my journal the past few years. I even stopped trying to convince my friends that my life was anything beyond that long ago. I think I'm here now, where I hear all the chants about go after it, take the leap, why wait, etc. but I know how dangerous it can be to jump in head first and I'm not sure if it's caution or just plain fear. Bright side is, we figure it out at some point. You will too. = )

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