Accept Things As They Are or Change Them
A few weeks ago, I was on the phone with a cousin of mine wishing her a happy birthday. However, that simple birthday call turned into a therapy session on her end. Though I'm going to school for counseling, I wasn't quite ready for this unraveling of emotions. I mean, I did just wake up from a nap.
Apparently, a few things I said triggered some emotions in her although I was joking. But for whatever reason she thought she hit a nerve with me and thought I was being defensive. I was dumbfounded being that when I'm defensive, oh, you will know. This whole ordeal then opened up a can a worms and we ended up having what seemed to be a continuation of LAST YEAR'S therapy session.
As I said previously, I had just woken up from a nap therefore I wasn't interested.
To make a long story short and not to delve too much information on my family life (out of respect), this said cousin has pent up emotions regarding the family. Though she said she's healed (because last year was deep stuff coming out), I'm convinced there's more healing that needs to be done. Otherwise, this wouldn't have came up again a year later right?
While she was unraveling and slightly offending me & my family, I put myself in counselor in training mode and just listened. I didn't spill my real thoughts for the most part. But I did notice how she didn't take any responsibility for her role in the alleged family issue. Everything was mostly our fault. Oh.
That's when it hit me. We have two main choices in life: to accept things as they are or make a change.
Some things in life our not entirely our fault. But we can't play victim either. The blame game isn't fun. Eventually the woe is me gets old and tired.
I hate complainers. As a former one myself, I can tell you how annoying it is for other people. And time and time again when I would complain, people would tell me to shut up if I'm not going to do anything about it. That's exactly what I wanted to say and should've said to my cousin. Her feelings were valid, yes, but since she really had no intention of changing the family dynamics, I really just wanted her to shut up. Probably not the best thoughts to have as a future a counselor but I'm in training, remember?
If we are not willing to change a situation, then we must accept life as is. Simple as that. But if you're unhappy, instead of complaining, do something about it.
Take responsibility for your role in the situation. Find solutions. Extend the olive branch. Life is about choice and the choice is yours.
Peace & Light,