Life Lessons That Sex and The City Taught Me


A couple of weeks ago, one of my blogger buddies, Tyece* tweeted about women who idolize Carrie Bradshaw from the popular series, Sex & The City. Her exact words were: "The level to which some women idolize Carrie Bradshaw scares the shit out of me." I couldn't help but agree (some women idolize her in the same aspect Marilyn Monroe is idolized) but noted that many women most likely overlooked the shitty parts of her life and focused on the fun stuff like shoes. Understandable but not realistic.

We have to remember that SATC is a fictional show based off fictional characters from a book, loosely based on Candace Bushnell's life. But I get the idolization (yes, I made up that word) because who doesn't want live the life Carrie Bradshaw appears to have? And to be honest, if you look past all the "good" aspects, you'll actually notice Carrie Bradshaw was not perfect. Neither character was. But despite this and its fictional storylines, I learned a lot from Sex and the City -- good, bad, and what NOT to do:

1. Having a Set of Best Girlfriends (or a best friend in general)
I am person who loves friendships yet I don't have as many as I would like. I'm pretty sure that's the introvert side of me that makes it a tad bit difficult for me to form genuine friendships. But what I can say that I do have 3 women I call my best friends. Are we a foursome like the SATC women? No. Actually, none of them no each other but that's fine. SATC reminds me that friendships are important and essential for our lives. We need those people we can call at 2am or who will listen to us complain about the same shitty relationship. We need those friends that will pick us up when life puts us down and who will have crazy, stupid, fun with us.

2. You Need Someone To Always Tell You The Truth
Miranda always came off as a negative person to me, especially in the beginning. But I started to realize that her intentions were never to be negative, she was just a brutally honest cynic. She was that friend that told you the honest truth whether you liked it or not. In life, we NEED someone like that. Life isn't all rainbows and occasionally we need that one person to remind us that there may not be a pot a gold at the end of it.

3. Always Believed in Love
To be quite honest, Charlotte was my least favorite on SATC but she did balance out the group very well. What I did/do love about Charlotte is her never ending quest for love. Regardless of she went through, she always believed there was a love out there for her. She put that energy out there and she eventually met the love of her life. Love can be really sucky at times but you have to believe and trust that there IS someone out there for you. Unless you're like Samantha and not interested in marriage and such.

4. Live Life on YOUR Terms
Speaking of Samantha Jones, she was actually my favorite character on SATC. While everyone wanted to be Carrie, I wanted to be Samantha. I loved the fact that she did not give two fucks about what anyone thought about her. She was grown and did whatever the hell she wanted to do. I enjoyed the fact that she was dating and sexing different men with no strings attached. Men have been doing it for years and continue to do so. I also loved the fact that she was her own boss: career, money, etc and didn't necessarily need a man to fulfill her.

5. Follow Your Dreams
My only fascination with Carrie is her career. She had dreams of being writer while be obsessed with Vogue magazine. She eventually moved to New York and made her dreams come true. We all have dreams. We just need the courage to follow them and believe that we can achieve them.

6. When It Comes To Men, We All Get A Little Crazy
This right here is a post within itself but I'm going to contain it and get to the jist of it. The premise of the show is about love, sex, and relationships. Each one of them has had some shitty relationships or done questionable things. We may scream at them through the TV saying "don't go back to him!" and since they can't hear our pleas, they do. But haven't we all been there in relationships? Dating guys who don't have our best interest? One night stands? Staying with someone though there's no feeling there? In each relationship these characters have, I'm pretty positive we can find ourselves somewhere.

7. Leave The Past Where It Is
The one thing that used to irritate me most was the relationship between Big and Carrie. One minute he loved her, the next minute he didn't. Next he tells her she's not the marrying kind so he marries someone else but then cheats on his wife with Carrie. I could seriously go on about the fucked up-ness of their relationship. Truth be told, they should've been ended it. How many times does Big have to hurt Carrie for her to realize he's not the one? Not even going to lie, their relationship got me messed up in the head having me temporarily believe that this was normal and true love prevails. Glad I'm SMARTER and dodged that bullet early. #StayWoke

8. Don't Mess Up A Good Thing
When Carrie got with Aiden, I thought she hit the jackpot. He was everything Big was not and she knew that. But that still didn't stop her from cheating on him with Big. Why Carrie? WHY? Once she confessed her dirty deed to Aiden, like the amazing guy that he is, he tried to work it out with Carrie. But of course, that failed. As Lyfe Jennings said, when you got somebody good, hold on to them.

9. We All Have Shitty Aspects of Our Lives
No one is perfect. Not even fictional characters on TV can possibly live this thing called life right. But there is no right way. We all have flaws and we need to own them along with the good aspects. Carrie had an awesome career and a nice rent controlled apartment her love life was always in shambles. Samantha had all the necessities in life but there were times when she realized she was lonely. Miranda was so career driven that having a love life or a baby for that matter wasn't really an option (at the time). As for Charlotte, she wasn't complete unless she had the white picket fence. There are so many other life situations that happened to these characters that makes them relatable to us. So if we're going to idolize Carrie or whichever character, idolize every aspect of them. If idolize and just strive for the good shit about their lives, you'll be disappointed.

There's probably much more that I've learned from SATC but I wanna know what you've learned (if you watched). Share your thoughts below.

*For more on Tyece, check out her dope blog twentiesunscripted.com*

Peace & Light,
Soleil

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