Monday, September 19, 2016

Somewhere Between Suicide and the Hamptons

There’s never really an in-between with me when it comes to my emotions. I can go for 0-100 real quick at any given moment without warning. You would think that by being on medication my moods would somehow level themselves out. But they don’t. I’ll have periods of stability then I’m back to being on the “crazy” train.

Sunday, September 4, 2016

Bad Christian: Your Journey Ain't Like Mine

I don’t follow religion but when asked, I always say I’m Catholic because technically, I am. However, I wasn’t completely raised in a Catholic household or any denomination for that matter despite my family’s religious background. But I was aware. Aware of God, the Bible, you know the basics. I lived in a house with two (non-denominational) reverends growing up, so not being aware of those aspects was completely out the question. However, God, religion and the likes were never forced upon me. But I never questioned it until high school.

Monday, August 15, 2016

Coping and Doping



It’s no secret that I suffer from mental illnesses. Just look at this blog. Just look at my twitter. There’s no question that not only do I deal with it on a regular basis but I am also advocate for it, especially for black people. For the most part, I’m an open book about it through my writing. But I also have a don’t ask, don’t tell policy. Even when writing, I try to be as transparent as possible, but I still pick and choose what I wish to share.

Monday, August 1, 2016

Seven Days of Perfect Faith



As I was finishing up my degree and heading my path to being a spiritual counselor/coach, I realized that my faith in a lot of things and just life in general was in question. My faith within anything can either be very high or very low and sometimes in between. So I questioned myself and put myself to the test. I asked (well, more like told) God that if I’m going to be a spiritual coach and help others give their life to Christ, my faith needs to be A-1. That very night, I decided to do a little experiment so to speak.  Every day for seven days, I would request something and have perfect faith that God will come through. And guess what? He sure did.

Monday, July 18, 2016

Sometimes, I Regret Going to College



As my loan shark company was telling me that I basically used all of my extensions and would have to start repaying soon though I technically don’t graduate until August, I felt my blood boiling. As he was trying to explain to me my options in regards to repayment, all I could think about is how the woman I talked to five months prior regarding my loan and deferment status lied to me. She told me if I call in May, just asked for a school forebearance and I would be straight. Okay, cool or so I thought. But yet, here I am on the phone with a different rep that’s telling me otherwise.

Monday, July 11, 2016

What is Borderline Personality Disorder Anyway?

As you all I know, last month I was severely triggered which caused me to go MIA. The thing about borderline personality disorder is that you can be triggered by anything at any given time. There's no warning signs or anything. And I will admit, that day my demons won and I allowed them to have their way with me for those 30 days. 

Tuesday, July 5, 2016

Growing with God

After being severely triggered by someone close to me, I decided to take a sudden leave of absence from life. It wasn't planned. But I had been at war with my demons all week and that day they won.